Caution: Slippery When Wet

Okay, this might be way TMI for some of you...I'll apologize ahead of time...but I really dislike sitting down on a wet toilet seat! And three different times today, this has happened! This just happens to be one of those times when I just really have to take issue with the "boys" in my house! I brought this up to my husband, knowing full well he hadn't been home, but imploring him to really have a conversation about "aim" with 6-year-old Braden. So, John jokes to Rebecca as she's on her way to the bathroom to make sure she goes "in" the potty, not "on" the potty. So, then, Rebecca tosses back a comment that "Daddy, I'm not a boy, I'm a woman!" (Her attitude conveyed "Come on, Daddy...don't you realize that yet?!") Given that she's not quite 8 yet, this just made John and I laugh out loud.

A little while later, the conversation happened to continue and we conceded that she was right, she is, indeed, a young woman. So, Conner (just turned three this month!) piped in that "Becca's not a woman, Becca's my girl!" Daddy then said, "Yes, Conner, Becca and Mommy are both your girls." (At this point in the conversation, my mind was occupied with the statistics of the thing....as we're outnumbered 4 to 2 in our house, I guess Becca and I should just get used to having wet hineys, eh?!) But then, my Conner surprised me, changing direction and adamantly replying to everyone that "Mommy's not a girl...Mommy's my people!" It was a really funny moment. I'm not the greatest storyteller, so you might have had to be there....

But Conner's comment really got me thinking. How brilliant are these babies sometimes??!! God gives them such loving, accepting hearts....they may recognize it, but they really don't care about gender, they don't care about race....all they see are the "people" around them. (I'll save for another post the fact that this is just proof that prejudices are taught, not inbred.) If there are judgements to be made in a child's mind or heart, they make the judgements based on how they are treated....how well they are loved. And even if they feel wronged, they have such forgiving natures. None of my four children hold grudges. They might remember what happened in a situation, but they don't hold onto the pain and hurt that might have resulted from it. "I'm sorry" still wipes the slate clean again for them....the tears are dried and all is well again.

But with God, it's even better because its said that He doesn't even remember our offenses. They're tossed into a sea of forgetfulness, with a "No Fishing!" sign posted next to it, telling us in no uncertain terms that we are not to pick up that sin again -- basically, "It's forgiven and it's forgotten...so just give it up already!" Jesus wiped our slate clean...and it's a simple process to start anew every day... every hour...every minute if we need to. That is still so amazing to me. Just how very complete....how unending His love for us is, how bottomless His forgiveness!

What it reminds me of.... My kids love those Fisher Price Magna Doodles....Spencer actually got a brand new one for Christmas this year, so now all 4 of the kiddos have one. These are the toys where you literally can wipe out what you draw with just the swipe of a lever. God's forgiveness for us is just like that. We can make just a little error or we can entirely blacken our souls with sin and it's no matter....all we have to do is repent to Him -- "Lord, forgive me!" -- and with that one request, He wipes it away forever. Again, doesn't that just beat all? How truly amazing is our God?

Acts 10:34b and 35.... (paraphrased) tell us that "God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right." So, the babies have the right of it, don't they? They love. They forgive. And the gospels tell us what Jesus himself said of the babies. Mark 10:14b-16.... ""Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter into it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them."

Oh, friends, if I could be that child in His arms and receive that blessing. I can't wait for the day when I can gaze upon His face...the day that I can see the hands that took the nails for me. One of these days...I can only imagine. (Mixing the lyrics of my songs there, I realize!) But friends, what a gift our salvation is...I don't mean to sound preachy or like a totally broken record. These are just the times when I am just so humbled and so grateful for everything He's given me. For my babies -- they might have poor aim, but what loving little miracles every single one of them are!...for my husband who, no matter how bad his day, still comes home with a smile and a sense of humor...for my God who loves me and forgives me no matter my mistake...and for the Magna Doodles that occupy said babies for hours (and ya'll know what a gift that is!). Who would've thought it? Magna Doodle = A mirror of my soul. The Fisher Price people probably never even considered that marketing approach!! But I'll tell you, I appreciate anything that makes me step back and give Him thanks. And I figure, as silly as it is, He's smiling, too.

And to think that I had not only had time for this to come full circle in my mind (not any small blessing, let me tell you!), but that it all started with my wet hiney. I certainly never thought I'd be praising the Lord for that! But here we are. I should be wearing a sign! Bill Ingvall, eat your heart out.

Free pass??

I was just writing an e-mail to a friend of mine and in relating to her a snippet of what's going on in our lives, I made the comment that I really wish we could get a "Free Pass" every once in a while on dealing with all the *stuff* in our lives....you all know the stuff I'm talking about....the emotional upheavals and physical blows of PMS, the beating we get from dealing with less-than-cooperative relatives, the bloody remains of our foreheads after we repeatedly beat our heads against all of those proverbial brick walls, I could go on and on here....but, for today, could I just get a pass on all the crap, please? Pretty please? I'm just not feeling very strong today and would really just like a day to curl up in my bed with my warm, cozy comforter and a nice, juicy novel....maybe a yummy latte and a bowl of Cashew Poppycock by my side. Or just to sleep...yes, sleep sounds especially tempting right about now. Children, what children? Diapers, forget about 'em. Dinner, schminner.

Then I sat here a moment longer and contemplated my own...human-ness, I guess. I really - NO, I mean REALLY - suck as a human being sometimes. I rant and rail at my husband for things that are at times beyond his control. I sometimes expect my children to just somehow understand what I want from them without explaining myself. And I expect the world to just cooperate when I want a break. Why should I get a break? I mean, I have it pretty easy, right? That isn't to say that my life is perfect -- whose is, really? -- and my husband and kids do take me for granted quite a lot, but overall....my life is pretty great. Why should I get a break today?

You probably know where I'm going with this.....If I, when the going gets "rough", think..."Hey, time out....I need to rest....to re-think....to rejuvenate." If I think this way, in the midst of my admittedly cozy, comfortable existance, what exactly must Jesus have been going through when he was hanging on the cross, experiencing possibly the most excrutiating pain known to man? He even knew His fate beforehand and yet, didn't run from it....He faced it and He endured it....for me. Color me humbled. I worry about time, finances...I think "Oooooh, I'm bloated today. Ugh." In the grand scheme of the universe, of us as a creation of God, what is my deal?! Bad, Staci! Since when is it okay for me to worry, to fret, to overanalyze? I realize, mind you, that I am only human. But like I said, I REALLY suck even in that capacity sometimes. My job is to trust, to strive to be like Jesus. Why am I not trusting right now? I am allowing Satan to wiggle his little way into my consciousness (unconsciously, of course) and I am complaining. Okay, let's be honest....I've got a whine going on that just won't quit.

I work on one area of my life that needs help and it seems the scale becomes unbalanced in another area. Is it this way for everyone? I am I really so different than all my counterparts out there? Does anyone else struggle with these issues or am I just obsessing because my life is empty and unfulfilling and so I think WAY too much?! No, I really am not as depressed a being as this post may suggest. It is just this moment, I'm sure. And maybe this is the path to enlightenment. Some days, I think I would feel better about me...about my human-ness, if it was just a little less bright around here! I don't fall into the trap of believing that ignorance equates to bliss, but sometimes sunglasses go along way to bolstering my self-esteem.

But this I know for sure today....I am SO humbled and eternally grateful for the sacrifice Jesus made for me....He gave me the freedom to PMS very boldly and then the ability to beg forgiveness from my husband and children for the sometimes confusing, for the sometimes loud, for the "don't-you-ignore-me!" opinions that I spout from time to time. There are occasions where said opinions are quite justified, but there are, unfortunately, occasions when I should just take a deep breath, count to about 554, and take my Poppycock into a closet for a few minutes of peace and quiet (although in my house, muffled may be as close to quiet as it comes). And so, for today, I will be honored to take my "Do not pass go, Do not collect $200" card and retreat quietly to my nice, cozy, comfortable, slightly dusty, shabby-chic jail and contemplate what my life would be like if God had decided we didn't deserve His "free pass." Because here I sat blathering on about how I need one and duh....I've had one all along. Crunch-n-munch, anyone? *sigh*

Liftoff....

Okay, so after a lot of searching my heart -- and my mind -- for whether or not this blogging thing is for me, I feel I had a breakthrough (not a breakout, luckily for my face) today when it just felt like the Lord was speaking the title of the blog to me. Now, I'm taking this for what it seemed to me at the time....a message from Him....we're hoping that this is not just some subconscious regurgitation of something that I've heard elsewhere coming back up now to deceive me. Then again, taking things for their face value is not necessarily interesting reading for those of you who may check in here to see what I've been up to....so we'll try to keep that to a minimal.

I am having a day....I'm doing spontaneous word association for some reason. Breakthrough...breakout...face....face value...Proactiv....Proactive. Now that is a word for the wise...proactive. Let me count the ways I relate to and want to resemble this word! Not the least of which is keeping my zits in check, let me just begin by saying! (I think any of you girls can understand.) However, in my life overall, proactivity equates to organization which in turn equates to a much, much more soothing and tranquil existence. And let me tell you, after the chaos that is my life sometimes, I am SO all about peace....serenity....tranquility. All of which then equate to low blood pressure and good sleep. And have I mentioned lately how much I love my sleep?! Anyhoo....my life as a proactive being: I am being proactive when I prepare for dinner in the morning instead of at 6 p.m.....I am being proactive when I keep up on Mt. St. Laundry instead of letting it erupt out of my bathroom....I am being proactive when I stick to my budget instead of walking through Costco and Target with what feel like magnetic shopping carts, attracting everything they pass by...I am being proactive when I prepare for going to church by praying beforehand that He will lead the way for us to make it there in a timely and loving manner...I am being proactive when I pray for my husband as I go to sleep so that the coming day and his commute could/would/should go that much more smoothly....I am being proactive when I take the time to speak kindly to my children instead of losing my temper and shouting when life goes awry....I am being proactive when I decide that the upkeep and maintenance of our lives shouldn't take up all of every day....we should still be able to have time to LIVE and to enjoy each other. And so, finally....(realization dawning....sunrise pictured in background of thought) I guess being proactive to me, sometimes means letting go of all the small stuff -- and isn't that what all the other stuff really is? God...family....love. That's what my bottom line should be. Wanting an organized life....an organized mind....not to mentioned organized cabinets and drawers (remembering another blog post I read recently)...all of that is fine and good, but I need to be proactive where it counts and keep my focus on the goal, right? Eternal proactivity is going to be a lot more rewarding --- for me and for my family --- say in about oh, 2000 years, than the most organized meal-planner, bargain shopper, and laundry zealot known to man.

Okay, so the dawning of the age of awareness (or should that be wariness?) has begun....how to implement said enlightenment into my life? Because just letting it all go....is SO not my specialty. I'm thinking this through as I type, so bear with me. I'm the queen of planning, the queen of make-it-happen....not so good at leaving things to chance. Oh....okay, I see God's sense of humor here....can you see it? Or have you known all along and are just patiently waiting for me to catch up? This is His challenge to me....to trust Him...to let Him take care of it. Well, He probably won't be visiting this week to help me catch up on the laundry, but I get it. I love that I'm learning a lesson while just trying to be obedient and follow His lead. So, here we go.......I will try to get all my maintenance and organization "stuff" done in the first two days of the week (Monday and Tuesday)....the rest of the week, I will focus on schoolwork for Becca and Braden and spending quality time with all of the kids...and with God. The weekends, well....we're good at letting God lead us wherever He decides on the weekends, but I will vow that I'll try to get all the shopping/maintenance/organization stuff done either in the early morning hours of the weekend (you have to be aware, now, that this is my sacrifice....I'm giving up my sleeping in for the sake of obedience!) or after the kids are in bed. That way, the majority of the days are open for whatever needs to happen for the family. Okay, that sounds like a plan. Of course, as we've all heard, good intentions paved the road to he**. But we're hoping and praying that isn't the case here. A little awareness...as well as a little wariness!...can only be a good thing. In life and in cyberspace. And now, I shall close this posting out as my time for ranting has officially run out....not that my mind has run out of rants, mind you. But we'll save those for next time. (Maybe I should have entitled the blog The Mindless Rantings of an Overextended Perfectionist???) Never mind. If I don't cut myself off now, I never will. Houston....we have liftoff.