God's Big Picture???

****This post was originally sent as an e-mail update to friends and family on 8-11-08.***

Hi, everyone!

I know it's been a while since I've sent an update, but there hasn't been a lot happening in our world.

Here is our latest: John still hasn't found a job and it's been 6 months today since he got laid off. His unemployment benefits will end in a few weeks and we are no closer today to a solution to all this than we were 6 months ago. That's rather frustrating, but we still have faith that God has a greater plan for us than we're able to see and we are holding strong to that. I watched Steven Curtis Chapman and his family on Larry King Live last week, discussing how the death of their youngest daughter has affected their family and something their oldest son said really impacted me. At the memorial service for Maria, evidently, he said something to the effect that if you are too close to something, like a painting of a beautiful mural on a wall, you really can't see the whole picture and it's only when you're able to back away from the wall and take in the whole "big picture" that you're able to appreciate it for what it really is. I feel like that about our life right now. I know we have a beautiful family and that we are bountifully blessed and I know that God is faithful and will provide for us, but beyond that, I'm too close to it all right now to see beyond the obvious obstacles and get to God's "big picture."

In addition to the whole employment situation, or the lack thereof, John got chosen as a juror last week on a gang-related murder trial that's supposed to last for a month. So, he's going to be at the courthouse for 4 to 5 hours everyday.

We're also feeling led that we're supposed to leave California. However, we're not quite sure where exactly we're meant to go. This would seem to be the ideal time given we've no "ties" like job, etc....but again, there are obvious obstacles. Personally, I will hate to leave the church we've found, but I know that if it's God's plan to lead us away from here, that He'll lead us to where we're meant to worship and learn again as well. I also worry about leaving Spencer's therapist as he's making so much progress and doing so very well. Again, I need to just trust that God will just protect him and hold him close, helping us to find another program that will meet his needs and help him continue to grow and mend. And then....there's our house...we need to sell it and quickly. We're behind now and with no job on the horizon, it doesn't look like we'll be able to keep it even if we were to stay here. Our neighbor did voice an interest in buying it from us a few months back so that would be a potential option as well, if he's still interested. We just kept hoping John would find a job and we'd be able to work it out with our mortgage company as there are so many programs out there now to help people avoid losing their homes. But as much as we love our house, we're not more attached to it than we are devoted to being within God's will for us. So, if that means leaving CA, then that obviously means leaving this house also.

So, we're just coming to you and asking that you would all pray for us. First, please pray that God will show us where we're meant to be. We've never felt we really belong here in CA, but this is where John's job was, so we stayed. However, that is not a hindrance at this point and that might be God's "point" in allowing this unemployment situation to continue as long as it has and not only that, but to be a RECURRING issue in our lives. Please pray that He will just pave the way to where He would have us be and show us that clearly -- that He'll give us a "neon road sign/map," if you will. We have ideas, but again, they're OUR ideas. So, we need Divine Guidance about all this. Also, please pray that if we're meant to move out-of-state, that He'll provide the means for us to do so as it's going to be quite expensive and our coffers are absolutely empty. As well, once we figure out where we're supposed to go and how we're going to get there, we need guidance about employment and our living situation for once we get there. So, just prayer covering all of these things as this is obviously a huge undertaking and just overwhelming even in the consideration stages.

Secondly, please just pray for God's covering and protection over our family as John participates in this trial. I know we all have a duty to serve, but the nature of the trial makes me uneasy and the length of it is just inconvenient. I was going to try to get a job through a temp agency this month until John did find a job and now I can't, as my wages would only end up paying for the babysitter. Perhaps this is God's answer to that prayer, as well, because I prayed that He would direct me as to whether or not that was His will for us, too. I'm willing to work...but again, we are just so trying to be open to what He has for us that we are seeking direction on every decision we make. I guess that's what we're supposed to do, though, aren't we? :O) And that option was removed, so I guess, in a sense, my prayer was definitely answered. Funny how that happens.

Overall, I just feel like our lives are one big prayer request right now. But, we DO have a few praise reports to share. I had to go to the ER last Sunday because of severe pain in my right side accompanied by a fever (we were afraid it was my appendix) and we found out that I had a 6 1/2 cm cyst on my ovary. However, they also found that I was SEVERELY anemic. So much so that they considered giving me a blood transfusion. However, they opted to just have me do oral supplements (that made me very happy) and now, the pain in my side has pretty much entirely disappeared. My theory is that God used the pain to get me to go in and be seen because I really had none of the normal symptoms of anemia at all. And the anemia was so severe that the doctor said that within a short amount of time, my systems would have started shutting down like I had no blood at all -- like I had bled out. (???!!!) The doctor wasn't worried about the cyst and said that where it was concerned, a few things could happen: it would re-absorbed and would just go away, it would burst and that would be that, or it would continue to grow and I would have to have it surgically removed. However, I had pretty bad pain through Tuesday night and then it was gone. Literally, like gone. No severe pain that would indicate that it burst....nothing. All I can say is that is some Sneaky God stuff.

Also, like I mentioned earlier, Spencer is making huge progress with his therapy. He is talking away, he's socializing well, and his gross motor skills have improved hugely. He's still not at a 2 1/2 year old level, but he's come SO far in such a short amount of time. Autism can be so overwhelming but we feel very blessed that we're finding our way along this journey -- so no matter what speed we're going, at least we're making progress and that is where we need to be. We adjusted his diet a couple of months ago and he's no longer drinking regular milk and we're trying to limit the other casein and gluten in his diet as well. It's just really hard with our limited budget as well as with his likes/dislikes to accommodate a gluten-free/casein-free diet in it's entirety. But just taking the milk out made a HUGE difference for him and so that's very encouraging to us. It's amazing to me the impact that diet has on neurological function and it's such a blessing to me that I'm able to contribute to helping him in such a simple way -- with such profound results!

Conner is also potty-training and we're hopeful that he'll be completely trained by the end of this week. That's a big thing for a 3-year-old and he's very proud. :O) We're also very proud of him, as well. (And we're excited to be down to having only 1 child in diapers, needless to say!)

Another small thing, but huge for us.....I found the curriculum I've been praying for so far as the kids' schooling is concerned and I am so excited about it. It is literally based off of God's word and is yet another tangible example of God answering prayer!!

And one last praise report: we were also gifted with van repairs for a second time this year and so our van is up and running again and that's a huge blessing for us as well. Our little Corolla was not exactly designed to transport a family of 6 so life was quite challenging there for a while. But again, God is good.

At long last, I think I'm done!! Thank you for your patience in reading another long e-mail from us. But please do pray for us if you can. I believe that with all of you joining us in prayer regarding all this, that we can't help but find God's path for us and come to a place where our life is more praise reports than prayer requests. :O) And please let us know if we can pray for any of you as well --- we are so honored to do so!! We love you all and hope that all is well in your lives.

With love and blessings always.........
Staci, John and all